Where's the Zen?

When I first lost my voice, I sent an email to my office colleagues and to my church choir.  The email was from Jacki's voice:

Just a quick email to let you all know that Jacki Hunt is not being snobby or “stuck up.” I, her voice, have decided that I am no longer going to be available to her until I decide I’ve had a big enough rest. Every year or two, I take a nap for 2-4 days and put her in her place, but about 10 years ago, I took off for 3 weeks.  Boy, did that scare Jacki!  Anyway, she now knows that when I am in this mood, she has to keep her mouth shut or I will continue to take time off. I took off last Thursday (BTW, she doesn’t “lose” her voice, as she likes to write—I just take off…) and Jacki was pretty good about staying silent until Saturday morning when she met with clients and talked ever so quietly for 2 hours!  She thought she was on the mend, but I took off again an hour after that little escapade.

Anyway, Jacki will talk again when I am good and ready to come back.  In the meantime, she will have her ever present clipboard and pen to communicate. 

Jacki’s voice

Little did I know when "the voice" wrote that email on September 30, that I would really be without my voice for 3 long weeks. As word started to get around to friends and colleagues, reactions were the usual ones I have come to expect over the years.
       "Bob must be in heaven!"  (This #1 comment will be the subject of a blog for sure!)
       "Aren't you lucky--you can take some time off!"  
       "Wow--that's really strange.  I've never lost my voice.  When will it come back?"
       "Oh, I'm so sorry for you..."   always said with a smile, and often with a chuckle.

I heard from a good friend about her experience of a week at a silent retreat.  She wrote that she didn't feel the need to talk after awhile, and she and her husband continued to eat in silence when they returned home.  She did admit that it didn't last for very long!

Another friend asked me, "Are you having moments of Zen with only listening?"

I only wish.  I'm not wired for quiet reflection.  Perhaps more time in the quiet world I had entered would have led me to a quieter, more introspective existence.  Quite honestly, I hope I never have to go there in this way.  But if I do, I know there are friends who will help me through that journey.  Some new friends, some old friends, but all real friends.  

I guess that's where the Zen is -- for me.